Back in the day, theme parks were a whole different ballgame. Safety regulations? Well, let’s just say they were more like “suggestions.” From rides that launched guests into nets to coasters held together with little more than hope and engineering from another era, these attractions would give today’s safety inspectors heart attacks. Let’s take a nostalgic (and slightly terrifying) look at some theme park rides that would never make it past the drawing board today.
Table of Contents
- 1 1. Action Park’s Cannonball Loop
- 2 2. Disneyland’s Flying Saucers
- 3 3. Six Flags’ Sarajevo Bobsled
- 4 4. Action Park’s Alpine Slide
- 5 5. Coney Island’s Human Pool Table
- 6 6. Riverview Park’s Pair-O-Chutes
- 7 7. Wonderland’s Human Maze
- 8 8. Kings Island’s Skyride
- 9 9. Playland’s Rotor
- 10 10. Cedar Point’s Jumbo Jet
- 11 11. Kennywood’s Thunderbolt Racing Cars
- 12 12. Luna Park’s Coal Mine Drop
- 13 13. Palisades Park’s Human Catapult
- 14 14. Crystal Beach’s Magic Carpet Slide
1. Action Park’s Cannonball Loop
The most infamous attraction at New Jersey’s Action Park, this waterslide featured a complete vertical loop that defied both physics and common sense. Opened in 1985, it was only operational for one month before being shut down. Test dummies emerged dismembered, and the few brave souls who actually rode it reported intense G-forces and occasional bloody noses. The park earned the nickname “Traction Park” for good reason.
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2. Disneyland’s Flying Saucers
Operating from 1961 to 1966, these individual hovercrafts let guests bump into each other while floating on cushions of air. The problem? The ride was incredibly hard to control, leading to frequent collisions and injuries. Weight distribution was critical – too light or too heavy, and you’d either sit motionless or scrape along the ground. The maintenance nightmares and frequent accidents led to its early retirement.
3. Six Flags’ Sarajevo Bobsled
This unique coaster at Six Flags Great America ran from 1984 to 1988 and featured cars that weren’t actually attached to the track. Instead, they rolled freely through a trough-like track, similar to an actual bobsled run. The potential for cars to jump the track was a constant concern, and after several close calls, the ride was dismantled. The fact that it operated for four years is remarkable.
4. Action Park’s Alpine Slide
Another Action Park gem, this concrete track sent riders downhill on sleds with a questionable brake lever. The rough concrete surface would scrape off skin if you fell, which happened frequently. The track’s edges were lined with asbestos-yes, asbestos-and the brake system was notoriously unreliable. It was responsible for the park’s first fatality in 1980, but amazingly continued operating until 1998.
5. Coney Island’s Human Pool Table
Operating in the 1950s, this bizarre attraction featured people acting as human billiard balls on a giant pool table. Participants wore padded suits and helmets, while others used large cue sticks to shoot them around the table. The combination of high-speed collisions and minimal safety equipment led to numerous injuries before its eventual closure.
6. Riverview Park’s Pair-O-Chutes
This Chicago attraction from the 1930s was essentially a controlled free fall with actual parachutes. Riders were hoisted up a 200-foot tower and then dropped, relying solely on a parachute to slow their descent. The ride’s maintenance was minimal, and the parachutes weren’t always properly repacked, leading to several terrifying moments of failed deployments.
7. Wonderland’s Human Maze
This 1970s attraction was essentially a giant hamster wheel for humans. Participants would climb inside a massive rotating cylinder and attempt to walk through it while it spun. With no safety harnesses and only padding on the bottom, falls were common and often resulted in injuries. The ride was finally closed after too many concussions and broken bones.
8. Kings Island’s Skyride
While many parks had skyrides, Kings Island’s version from 1972 was notorious for its height and minimal restraints. The Swiss-made gondolas swayed dramatically in high winds, and the safety bar was little more than a loose chain. During its 27-year run, several incidents of riders standing up or attempting to switch cars mid-ride led to its eventual removal in 1999.
9. Playland’s Rotor
This spinning barrel ride from the 1960s used centrifugal force to pin riders against the wall before dropping the floor out from under them. The problem? There were no restraints whatsoever, and if the speed wasn’t perfectly maintained, riders would slide down the wall. The ride also frequently caused blackouts and severe nausea, yet remained operational at various parks for decades.
10. Cedar Point’s Jumbo Jet
Operating from 1972 to 1978, this coaster featured cars that straddled the track rather than riding on top of it. While innovative, the design meant that a mechanical failure could result in the car literally falling off the track. The ride’s intense turns and sudden drops, combined with minimal restraints, made it a white-knuckle experience that would never pass modern safety standards.
11. Kennywood’s Thunderbolt Racing Cars
In the early 1960s, Kennywood Park featured actual gasoline-powered racing cars on an elevated track with minimal guardrails. Unlike modern go-karts, these vehicles could reach serious speeds, and the only thing preventing cars from going over the edge was a small wooden barrier. The combination of high speeds, real engines, and the constant threat of fire made this attraction a safety inspector’s nightmare before its closure in 1967.
12. Luna Park’s Coal Mine Drop
Operating in the 1950s, this attraction simulated a mining elevator emergency. Riders would enter what appeared to be a normal elevator, only to experience a sudden free-fall in complete darkness. The catch? The braking system was primitive at best, and the ride operators would sometimes increase the drop height without warning. The psychological trauma alone would make this attraction impossible today.
13. Palisades Park’s Human Catapult
In the mid-1960s, this short-lived attraction literally launched riders from a giant mechanical arm into a safety net 50 feet away. The ride lasted only one season, and it’s not hard to see why. The margin for error was non-existent – any miscalculation in the launch force or timing could result in disaster. Amazingly, no fatalities occurred during its brief run, though there were plenty of close calls.
14. Crystal Beach’s Magic Carpet Slide
This massive slide from the 1970s had riders sit on burlap sacks and slide down a giant wooden ramp with multiple bumps. The kicker? The slide was waxed daily to increase speed, and there was no way to control your descent once you started. Riders would frequently become airborne over the bumps, leading to numerous injuries and eventual closure in 1982 after multiple lawsuits.
